Just like that, summers over.
The diaper only munchkin, and sans bra mama will have to hide for another 180ish school days. But, who's counting?
With the school year starting again in just a few short days, I have found myself in that uncomfortable chaos that comes with this time of year.
What the hell is that?!
It's a thing. Who knew? It sounds like an awful sitcom that would star a strung out Goldie Hawn. Awesome. Sign me up.
It's this painful feeling of not doing enough for your students, but at the same time-an even worse feeling of not being there for your children at home.
Goldie Hawn sequel: "The unwavering guilt of the teacher mom"
Fortunately, I have the immeasurable pleasure to work along side some incredible women, who are also just as equally incredible moms.
How do they do it? How in the hell do you manage it all?
I can't even think about the trilogy!
"Teacher Mom Wife: She finally broke. "
Uh I'll be missing the premier of that one.
I remember having a specific conversation with a co worker after I had Lou.
M: "I'm not going to be able to get everything done at school. I'll never be the same teacher I was before" -cue the tears
C: "You're right, you won't" Way to be sensitive to the postpartum hormonal newbie. (cue more tears) "You have to let go of thinking that you can give 100% of you to your kids at home, and 100% of you to your kids at school everyday"
M: "I'm sorry what?! I can totally do both-you do!" (I mean who gets into teaching thinking "I'm going to pour 75% into the future of America)
C: "I don't, You won't , and it's okay. It's okay if you have to drop some things at school to go home. Prioritize. It's okay if you give 100% to your class one day, and 100% to your family the next. You've got to B A L A N C E it out."
THAT resonated with me.
Oprah, come on out of TV retirement, because this girl needed to hear that, and I finally had my "ah ha" moment.
If I work my ass off at home, get all the laundry done, dishes put away, the meals prepped for the week, etc, then my students won't get my 100%.
If I work my ass off at school, get everything graded, entered, emailed, copied, and planned, then my family won't get my 100%.
If I could insert Elsa singing "LET IT GO" right here, I would. As a type A, person, that song is not on my playlist. But as a mom, it has to be.
B A L A N C E > C O N T R O L
Those seven letter words cancel each right out.
I'm still learning. I'm not an expert in either of these things. Teacher, or mom, but there's a reason they are two separate words. I will learn how to separate and dominate them both in due time. But, in the mean time, I've got to realize that I have (we have) arguably, two of the most important jobs. So, it's okay to ask for a little G R A C E. Right?
Cheers teacher moms, it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Letting go, but holding on to those hugs a little longer.
Sleepless nights over endless to do lists, but hoping they will wake up so you can snuggle till the alarm goes off.
Taking the kids to school with you after your class has left, but smiling because you can hear their laugh echo in the empty hallway.
Hot coffee because it fuels early morning planning, but embracing the cold, because your baby needed you.
Saying no, but feeling okay about it, because
B A L A N C E.