welcome to our perfectly imperfect life.

not worth the wait.

not worth the wait.

yeah, sorry

40 weeks is just way too long to keep a secret from myself. I thought it would be so worth the finally hear the screams from my sweet baby and for the Dr. to say "CONGRATS!  it's a...

but, then Jon went back into the ultrasound room and coaxed the tech to tell him what the sex was.

It's no fun looking at your husband with a shit eating grin on his face and saying, "cool, now hold in that secret for another 20 weeks" I wanted to share the excitement with,

WE ARE HAVING A   |//> B O Y <\\|

a freaking boy.

Plus, it was way more fun finding out being completely sober. Because, let's be honest. I will be pumped with tranquilizers and my excitement would be muffled if we had waited until he made his debut.

a boy. I am so in...until the second I get peed on...its game over.

Here are some things I don't know.

1. How to change a diaper when there is a hose pointed straight at me, ready to fire.   

2. How to get Lou to like him. Lord knows little brothers are kinda sucky in the beginning. (Steven, I love you now. You know that)

3. How I am going to tell his girlfriends one day that if they break his heart, I will personally bury them. I know how you girls work.

4. How to keep him from being a teenager. (think typical stupid, invincible, teenage boy things)

5. I don't know what I don't know. All I can think about is bugs, condoms, dirt, circumcising, burping, farting, and beer. Y A Y.

Here's what I do know.

1. This little boy has an amazing man as a dad to look up to in his life. A man who will show him exactly how to treat a woman. How to make sure that she doesn't have a complete meltdown about said worries above. A man who will teach him that he will learn from each heartbreak, and that it will bring him that much closer to his soul mate. A man who will raise him with manners, and to only burp if he thinks he can out do his mom. This little guy has a dad who will teach him about work ethic, fast cars, and beer. Thank goodness too, because I am only good for 1/3.

You are so freaking lucky little man. And as a matter of fact, so am I.

We are ready for you. Your sister has another thing coming, and her world is about to be rocked. But, she is also about to receive the best gift we could ever give her. You two are the only ones that will share the same DNA, and I hope you understand how special that really is. 

Cherish one another. Be kind to each other, and promise to take care of us when we get old. 

We cant wait to meet you little man.

xo, mom

my vbac story.

my vbac story.

here we go again.

here we go again.