a note to my fellow teachers.
It didn’t hit me until I walked into my classroom to gather some supplies that this is N O T a vacation. This is gut wrenching, heart breaking, and certainly not what I expected when I said goodbye to my students on March 6th.
Copies are ready to be handed out on my desk, jackets are still hanging in cubbies, homework and assignments are written on the board. A poster hanging on my wall advertising a brilliant play one of my students had written. Missing work shoved in the desk, clipboards not put in their correct spot; I sat in my chair and it hit me like a ton of bricks. These kids are going to go to middle school next year, and I may not even get to squeeze them goodbye.
I could hear the attempts to whisper during my read aloud, see the eyes rolling when I told them to make sure it was 5th grade quality work they were turning in, smell the scented plug in trying to mask the smell of 25 hormonal 10 year olds. It is all so surreal. It felt like walking into an abandoned town. The quiet seeped outside where the skinned knees and four square games seem like a far away memory. I can hear myself yelling at them to quit playing football like the NFL scouts were watching. I think we can all agree that it will be a good day when all of the playgrounds open up again.
All the memories from the year came back to me. If those walls could talk…the laughter, the frustration, the I can’t wait to show my students this lesson, to the I can’t do this one more day afternoons.
Teaching is a calling. Everyone knows we don’t do it for the paycheck (the insurance maybe), but definitely not for the money. We get up every day because we love what we do. We feel like we are broken and beat down because we pour our hearts into it. We don’t just teach. We feed, love, nurture, discipline, mentor, investigate, counsel, encourage, observe, listen, and the list goes on. It feels strange and unnatural when it comes to a screeching halt; especially due to unforeseen circumstances. It feels even worse when our current reality is so unsteady and ever changing and our future right now is so unclear.
Through all of this uncertainty. I pray that everyone is able to find their own peace with whatever situation has been handed to them. Find the silver lining.
This too shall pass.
Find the rainbow after this storm.
