thoughts and prayers and bullshit.

2012, I woke up in a cold sweat gasping for air after dreaming that I had to throw my body over a classroom of students to save them from an intruder. This was a reoccurring dream of mine as I was nearing my education degree when the lives of 20 babies were taken at the hand of a psyco at Sandy Hook Elementary school.

Fast forward a year, I get my first teaching job and part of the training is intruder alerts. How to keep your kids SILENT. 24+ of them. Silent, in a cubby room. Lock the door, pull down the shade, shut the lights off, and somehow keep 24 kids silent so “no one can hear them”.

You guys. I had a strategic bag packed…a flashlight, a book to read (a funny one to distract them), cards, trivia, and a roster so I could keep track of every single one of their precious souls.

Keep fast forwarding…2018…17 dead in a school shooting in FL.

The district I’m teaching in calls a mandatory…every single person that works or has anything to do with anything in the district meeting at the local ag center. We talk about mental health. We talk about the warning signs. We get green apples to put out of our door to show if we are “safe” and red stop hands if we are missing a child. Secret signs to alert that WE ARE MISSING SOMEONE. We all pledge that if we see something, to say something…but who is DOING something?!

Keep going…a few years later…guess what happened today…14 and counting innocent children were killed. A heroic teacher who I KNOW did everything in her power to make sure those babies knew they were safe and loved in that moment-killed.

I just don’t get it.

What is it going to take?

The thoughts and prayers AREN’T working y’all.

Parents send their kids to school and expect to be able to pick them up at the end of the day. 14 parents had to get a call that their child will not ever get to come home again.

Let that sink in. How is this still an issue? How can we get guns into schools easier than a local hockey game? Someone make it make sense.